#MoneyDay = “Made with real ingredients” and other virtually meaningless Marketing proclamations?

 

Made with real ingredients“Made with real ingredients”

As opposed to what – fake ones?

Of course the aim is to conjure an image of wholesome goods, ‘real’ onions, ‘real’ vinegar – whatever that is – but that means nothing.

Your home’s favorite crisps are not to be forgotten either…

“Sensations crisps are made with real ingredients and no artificial colours, sweeteners, flavour enhancers or MSG so go ahead and indulge yourself.

Which is then listed as…

“Balsamic Vinegar & Caramelised Onion
Ingredients: Potatoes, Sunflower Oil (26%), Balsamic Vinegar & Caramelised Onion Seasoning, Salt, Firming Agent (Calcium Chloride)
Balsamic Vinegar & Caramelised Onion Seasoning contains: Sugar, Flavouring, Spices, Citric Acid, Dried Onion, Fructose, Balsamic Vinegar, Colour (Paprika Extract)”

So at best it means ‘no e numbers. ish’ though of course it is jammed with flavourings, spices, firming agents and more very nasty stuff.

Don’t get me wrong they’re great crisps, I love the flavour it’s one of my favourites, yet the statement is completely meaningless.

Any other nonsense marketing statements that can mean virtually anything?

  • Or Daz “whiter than White “. What’s that all about? White is White!?
  • Or “Kills 99.9% of all germs/bacteria”… so if you catch anything afterwards, it can always be blamed on the 0.1% that survived! (Great payout!)
  • The marketing line that has always got me in tears of laughter is ‘hand cooked crisps or chips’. Do they really expect us to believe that somebody is throwing batches into the fryer manually? I hope their hands are scrupulously clean if that’s the case. (Obviously not)

The point  I am trying to make is you see marketing agencies generally “fluff up” their products and services which in short normally shows their good at talking, which is fine, until you want to see results for the ludicrous amount of money you are paying them. I am one of those people they like to skip to what I am after, I don’t want to watch a video, or read something, or sign up. I just want to know what you or it does, the price and any other details.

Yet that is near impossible nowadays, the answer? See example A – www.mistermetric.com – a site that details exactly what they do, how they do it, and the results. Straightforward and simple.

Chow for now!

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About Stuart Morrison

Stu Morrison's background in marketing, entertainment and web development has fused him into a guy thirsty for results in marketing. His regular talks on marketing and web conversion help others to gain more revenue from their websites. He also has a big moustache.